Ego in the Sales Process

Have you ever walked out of a sales meeting and felt like you have been to the principal’s office? Unfortunately, it is a common occurrence in the life of many salespeople. There is actually a system for how this happens and how to make sure it doesn’t happen to you.

This system is based on a theory called Transactional Analysis, and at Sandler Training we use this to help salespeople realize their situation and make sure they are achieving equal business stature on each call.

There are 3 ego states to note in Transactional Analysis: Parent, Adult, and Child.

To further investigate what happens when a salesperson feels like they have been sent to the principal’s office, look at these ego states:

Parent – There are two subsets of the Parent ego state: Critical Parent and Nurturing Parent. "Critical Parent" is tough to convince, skeptical, and dominating. When a salesperson feels like they have been to the principal’s office, often the prospect has gone into the Critical Parent ego state. Alternatively, when the salesperson is in "Nurturing Parent" they can make the prospect feel more ok, just like when we were comforted as a child.

Adult – This is the logical, almost computer-like ego state. Data in, data out. It is important that the salesperson uses this ego state while in a sales process to keep emotionally detached from the outcome.

Child – There are three variations of the Child ego state: Adaptive Child, Rebellious Child, and the Little Professor. The "Adaptive Child" may give too much free information in the sales process, and want to make friends with the prospect instead of moving the sales process forward. The "Rebellious Child" is an ego state prospects may take on when the salesperson has challenged them too much and may fight back in a sales process. And finally, a "Little Professor" salesperson wants to show how smart he is and may talk too much and not ask the right questions.

During the sales process, the salesperson should stay 70% in the Adult ego state and 30% in the Nurturing Parent ego state. There is no room for the Child ego state from the salesperson in the sales process, as it is no place for getting your emotional needs met.

Maintain control of the sales process by leaving your inner "child" with the babysitter.